You know that feeling when you think, “I just can’t take it anymore”? You desperately want to pass your kids off to someone else to take care of, you can’t imagine doing one more house project on your own, or making a phone call to take care of what needs to get done. And how the hell are you supposed to do anything for yourself when you feel like you can barely keep your head above water? When you feel like your gasping, reaching your hand out, hoping someone will come save you; someone will swoop in and relieve you.
But no one’s coming.
At least not for another week, maybe two, so you’re on your own. I get it, who wants to admit they’re acting like a damsel in distress? I sure as hell don’t want to, but I have been.
You see, my husband is away at training and left literally the day we got our orders to move to Belgium. We’ve known about the move for quite a while at least, so we’ve been downsizing and getting the house ready to rent out, but the amount of small little projects we had left undone, or that needed touch up’s was absurd.
So here I am, orders in hand with a power of attorney, no clue what my next steps should really be, a house that STILL has projects to get done and two kids to take care of. And ya know, keep up with the standard house cleaning, paying bills, and all the regular stuff you do to run a household.
I found myself saying, I can’t do this. I need help. I just need time to myself. How am I going to handle all this?
All pretty logical thoughts I guess, but you know what happened? I started shutting down. I started feeling heavy instead of lighthearted, which meant I wasn’t as playful with my kids. I didn’t feel like I had as much time to play since I had so much to do. Which, lead to my 4 year old starting to have break downs and screaming fits, something he never does anymore. It’s hard to see him so upset, and it gets me really upset, which in turn also gets my 2 year old upset. The struggle’s been real at times.
Allowing myself to go down the rabbit hole of ‘somebody please help me! I just can’t do it!’ isn’t serving me in anyway. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad thing to actually ask for help- and I’ve had two amazing friends help me out for a few hours on two different occasions.
There’s a difference though in saying, ok, I could use some help so I can make progress quicker / better – or sinking into a state of feeling helpless and that without someone’s help you just can’t make it.
Because here’s the deal. You HAVE to make it, because you WANT to make it.
You want to love your life, even when the going gets tough. Because while I believe it’s absolutely necessary to feel your negative emotions just as much as your positive ones, you don’t want them to be in control of you. You don’t want to live a life full of stress, crying and frustration that you have no control over.
You have to figure out how to talk to yourself in a way that makes you strong so you can get sh*t done, while still having gratitude IN the circumstance. You don’t have to have gratitude FOR the circumstance, but being able to see everything else that’s good in your life while you’re in the middle of a bad or ‘not ideal’ circumstance is so important.
No one’s coming, and that’s ok. You don’t need to be saved, you just need to realize that you have what it takes.
If you want something bad enough you’ll figure it out – and if living a life full of joy is what you want then you’ll figure out how you need to talk to yourself to make that happen.
So here I am, deciding that I’m not a damsel in distress and therefore I need to stop acting like one. I don’t need saving, but that doesn’t mean a heroine doesn’t ask for help to get the job done.
I’d much rather be the heroine in my story instead of the damsel, just saying 😉
Now I must go forth and complete my quest, this journey to get us to Belgium! Please let me know in the comments below how you show up as the heroine in your story, I could use the advice! 😉
Onward and upward,